


Endlessly

by Demenior



Series: Uliro Week [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cultural Differences, Culture Shock, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Galra Redesign, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Love Confessions, M/M, Slice of Life, Traumatized Shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11042433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demenior/pseuds/Demenior
Summary: Shiro and Ulaz have been through much together already. They know each other, accept each other and their differences. It's the only way to make an interspecies relationship work, after all.In the wake of a traumatic battle, Shiro and Ulaz realize that the other is not who they thought they were.And now they have to ask the question: is a monster worth loving?





	1. Misunderstanding/Honesty

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I hope y'all have been enjoying Uliro week as much as I have!!!
> 
> Welcome to my very special project of the week: a Redesign Uliro story!!! I'm very nervous to see how this goes over with y'all.
> 
> This work features my Galra redesign as seen in my series [Tomorrow I'll Switch the Beat](http://archiveofourown.org/series/534103).
> 
> Generic Galra Redesigns can be seen [here](http://demenior.tumblr.com/post/151300810674/i-think-im-finally-happy-w-my-galra-redesign) and [here](http://demenior.tumblr.com/post/155569253289/theyre-still-very-canid-in-appearance-but)!
> 
> You can see examples of what Ulaz looks like [here](http://demenior.tumblr.com/post/158185842939/bosstoaster-requested-i-draw-ulaz-carrying-shiro), [here](http://demenior.tumblr.com/post/158157863244/i-keep-riding-the-what-if-ulaz-was-a-little), and [here](http://demenior.tumblr.com/post/161014894944/in-light-of-uliro-week-comin-up-i-figured-id-try). 
> 
> Check out my [Galra Redesign](http://demenior.tumblr.com/tagged/galra+redesign) tag on my tumblr for more info and more art!
> 
> **Shiro and Ulaz are in an established relationship for this fic. They live together, are out as a couple to those they care about, but they haven't gotten to the point of love confessions. Yet.

 

_There's a part of me you'll never know  
The only thing I'll never show_

 

                                                                                - Muse, "Endlessly"

* * *

 

 

“Pidge, move!”

“Keith—look out!”

“Everyone get back!”

Ulaz parries a claw swipe with his blade, snarling in the face of the other Galra.

Temperature has fallen with the sun, and they need to get back to their ship before it falls to dangerous levels for the humans, who are all in various states of undress from their time swimming this afternoon.

Only Keith, with his Marmora Blade, and Shiro, with his arm, have weapons amongst the humans. Thankfully Ulaz knew better than to venture out without his own blade.

The Galra soldiers are not as well-trained as Ulaz, or even the Paladins, but they have the advantage of surprise and and size, and are unafraid to use their teeth like savages.

The soldier battling Ulaz can’t be much older than a juvenile, probably only recently drafted into the ranks. It breaks Ulaz’s heart that his people are so war-hungry they are sending children to die like this.

“Traitor! You’re a disgrace to the Galra!” the youth spits. His manes is still neatly cropped. He must have just had it re-cut to Empire standard.

“Your Emperor failed you,” Ulaz says sternly, “and forced you to betray yourself.”

The youth draws himself up to retort—and then a rock slams into the side of his head. In shock both he and Ulaz look to where it had leapt from.

“Hey, ugly!” Pidge snarls. She is standing beside the Yellow Paladin, each of them holding stones in their small hands. To Ulaz’s amazement, they each draw back their arms and throw the stones with such force that they strike the enemy Galra again. Projectiles! How resourceful!

“The only disgrace is your face!” Hunk shouts. Ulaz supposes those must be aggressive taunts from earth. To be fair, the youth does have a brutishly short muzzle and large, floppy ears, but it is likely that he will still grow into them. Were he to live that long.

The soldier recovers from his shock faster than Ulaz anticipates, and lunges for the young Paladins. The humans’ projectiles cannot ward off a rampaging Galra.

Ulaz springs forwards, reaching to grab the soldier by the back of his armor. Ulaz spins his blade in his grip—maybe he won’t have to kill the youth, not tonight—if he can just incapacitate him with a strike if his pommel.

His grip on the armor slips as the youth stops suddenly, as if remembering Ulaz is still a threat. This pitches Ulaz forwards, with his throat open for a hit. The Galra spins, his jaws cracking as they dislocate for a killing blow. It is by luck that Ulaz has been bringing his blade up, that he is able to get it between the soldier’s mouth and his own throat before those deadly jaws snap closed with enough force to shatter bone.

The blade goes completely through the soldier’s lower jaw, and the force of the close must have driven the pommel into the cranial cavity. The soldier drops and begins seizing, Ulaz’s blade holding his mouth closed like a finishing nail.

Ulaz takes a step back, watching. A child had nearly bested him because he’d been caught off guard. He can’t allow such sloppy swordsmanship in the future. The soldier claws at the sand around him, screaming through closed jaws.

What a brutal end for a young life.

“Shiro!” Keith shouts.

Ulaz snaps to attention. He thought the other battle—with Shiro’s combat prowess and Keith’s aggressive support—would be over by now.

He was wrong.

Keith has been disarmed—Lance is hurling stones as projectiles to distract the Galra while Keith scrambles for his blade. His human legs aren’t fast enough to clear the distance. Shiro has lost his footing, he is in the sand and the Galra is reaching to grip him by the ankle, advancing on him as if Shiro was some animal to be treated as prey. As if she has the right to take what doesn't belong to her!

A proper bite from a Galra of her size could break even Shiro’s prosthetic. Ulaz’s heart beats rapidly in his chest. Human skin is too soft. Shiro won’t survive.

Ulaz’s claws rip through the sand as he surges forwards.  He has no weapons, but he is Galra. He is never truly weaponless. Shiro’s arm lights up as he twists to defend himself. She slaps him, Ulaz hears the impact, and Shiro’s arm goes dark as he slumps on the ground. No!

Ulaz comes in from the high ground, and because the dying young Galra was effectively silenced in his death throes, his partner hasn’t realized that she is now alone. She unhinges her jaw, about to strike, and catches Ulaz’s movement in the corner of her eye. Ulaz hits her like a battering ram, trying to knock her into the sand. She twists to meet him and for a moment they are animals trying to rip each other to shreds. Her fangs slice his bare shoulder like knives, he opens her face from lip to ear. She gets a hand up to his throat and digs her claws in, trying to tear his flesh out. Ulaz punches her.

It’s a crude human gesture, but it’s effective in startling her. She loosens her grip, and then Ulaz’s fangs are at her throat. He doesn’t have time to force her to surrender. Shiro is still laying in the sand at their feet. Ulaz has put himself between Shiro and the soldier, and he won’t let her leave alive.

He bites deep into the flesh of her neck, tasting hot blood and feeling the muscles split like a ripe fruit. It's not enough to kill her instantly, but Ulaz bites deep and locks his jaws. She shrieks and claws at him, cutting his face but it's not enough. Ulaz has her in his fangs. He endures, holding tight and letting her blood arc out in bursts, streaking the sand. She flails, trying to dislodge him. Ulaz holds firm.  

She manages to claw him close enough to his eye that Ulaz flinches. That's all it takes and she rips herself from his jaws, and lunges at Shiro. A final, desperate act.

Ulaz leaps onto her, snapping his jaws closed on the back of her neck, breaking her spine. She goes limp, not quite dead yet, but bleeding out quickly. Her paws trail uselessly in the sand on either side of Shiro.

Shiro is beginning to stir, now with blood falling onto him from the bite to the Soldiers throat. The soldiers open mouth hangs just inches above his face.

Keith and Lance, sensing the danger has passed, rush in to check on Shiro.

Ulaz drags the body away, and for good measure he makes sure to tear out her throat properly to be sure she's dead. He could have let her suffer, which is really what she deserves for attacking Shiro, but Ulaz wants to make sure Shiro is okay more than anything.

There is silence on the beach again. It is not the peaceful silence of earlier, when the humans had been napping in the heat of the sun. It is the somber post-battle silence. Of sadness and survival.

Ulaz pushes his way into the little semi-circle of Paladins so he can see Shiro get to his feet. He makes it upright by himself, so nothing must be broken. He is covered in the soldiers blood, and the heat of it is steaming in the cold air. Ulaz leans forwards to touch their snouts together in a relieved kiss. He leaves a smear of blood on Shiro's pale skin.

“Are you alright?” Pidge asks. She glances at the dead Galra soldier with a haunted look. Hunk is throwing up, though he hasn’t moved from where Ulaz left him. Humans are wary of death, Ulaz has found. It would be best not to linger, especially when their sensitive skin is in danger from the cold night settling in around them.

“We should get inside before you freeze,” Ulaz suggests, “unless there is anything else we need to see to?” He hopes not. Ulaz needs Shiro to get through debriefing his team and whatever other comforts the humans require of him so that Ulaz can check to make sure he is alright. Shiro is still uncomfortable being physically affectionate in front of his team, so Ulaz tries to keep himself composed until they are behind closed doors.

It is very hard to hold himself back right now. The kiss is the tamest thing he wishes to do to Shiro. Everything else would make Ulaz a ‘worry wart’ as Shiro has called him, and it would make Shiro feel embarrassed. Ulaz restrains himself.

Shiro nods. All of the Paladins give a somber look at the dead soldier.

“Let’s get back to the ship before we freeze,” Shiro orders.

They move in a tighter formation than they had earlier, as if they are nervous about being attacked again. Ulaz trails along behind them, licking the blood off of his muzzle and keeping his ears primed for the sound of enemies. He wishes he’d brought his combat mask. It is much easier to clean blood off of that than his own fur.

Hunk pauses, looking to their right. The young Galra, with the blade still in its jaws, isn’t dead yet. It is still thrashing in the sand, jerky, involuntary movements and this close now they can hear its whimpers and sobs as it dies slowly.

Ulaz glances at Shiro. All of the humans are staring at the Galra, as if they would prefer to just watch it die. Of all of them Ulaz has to remind himself that only Shiro and Keith are armed. Keith is possibly aggressive enough to let his enemy suffer, but Shiro won’t want this. But even a mercy killing may have ramifications on Shiros psyche. Ulaz would like to spare him that human guilt. And Shiro hadn’t been taken from him tonight, Ulaz reasons; he can be merciful so Shiro won’t have to be.

He breaks formation to walk over to the other Galra. The young Galra’s eyes have rolled back into his skull. Ulaz isn’t sure how aware he is of his environment anymore. This kind of brain damage would be fascinating to explore in other scenarios.

He runs a gentle hand down the soldier's neck, brushing the fur back in a gentling motion like a Malch would to soothe a cub. He hopes the youth can feel the soft touch.

Ulaz makes his bite as quick as he can, snapping the spinal cord quickly and neatly. He shakes his head to make sure it is severed. This would be so much easier with his blade.

The youth goes limp, his limbs finally stop shaking. Bloody spittle falls from his lips, his head hanging at a wrong angle.

Ulaz drops him back onto the sand. Now to retrieve his sword. His breath is clouding in the air. He isn’t a young Galra anymore. A fight like this has left him winded. How embarrassing.

But the cold presents another problem.

Ulaz turns to look at the human Paladins. They are all where he’d left them, waiting for him with their big, human eyes watching him intently. That they thought of him as part of their pack, that they’d wait for him even while they were freezing, is very touching. It is foolish behavior, but it makes Ulaz feel happy nonetheless.

“Go on ahead,” he tells them, “I’ll be along shortly.”

He doesn’t bother to listen for a reply before he begins removing his blade. Judging by the angle of impalement, it is easiest to break through the nasal cavity and get a hold of the pommel, rather than try and get the locked jaws apart. It is sad work, breaking bone and peeling back muscle, but between his claws and his teeth it is quick work, and soon Ulaz has his blade again and he is free to return to the humans.

 

* * *

 

Shiro looks up with wide eyes when Ulaz enters their room. For a moment Ulaz’s ears come up—ready to handle whatever has frightened Shiro—but then he foolishly realizes that he must have been the one that startled him.

It always strikes Ulaz how lucky he is to have this. A den to share. Someone to look forwards to seeing at the end of the day, someone that he enjoys cohabiting with. Someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Of all of Shiro’s exceptional skills and abilities, perhaps the strangest is his ability to inspire poetry in Ulaz’s thoughts.

A sharp scent catches Ulaz’s attention next. It is faint, but unmistakable, from their attached bathroom.

“You were sick?” Ulaz asks. He’s learned it isn’t uncommon for humans to be nauseous under emotional distress, “I’m sorry I wasn’t back sooner,” he says.

Shiro glances away, as if ashamed that humans have such violent reactions to death. Ulaz recalls that Shiro had been sprayed with blood—though he must have bathed since, as he is clean now.

For a species that takes such vanity in their appearance, with their constant bathing and grooming, that must have been very upsetting. Ulaz had taken the time to clean himself off before coming home, and stopped to clean his blade, so that now all of his attention can be put on Shiro. His timing has paid off too, now he doesn’t have to wait for Shiro to finish with the Paladins. Though he should have hurried so Shiro wouldn’t have to be alone with his thoughts.

“Were you hurt?” Ulaz asks. He climbs onto their bed, mindful of Shiro’s legs as he sits down.

Shiro shakes his head, keeping his eyes lowered, “No. Nothing serious.”

Ulaz places his hand on Shiro’s knee, being mindful of his claws to not hurt the soft skin, “May I check?” What a relief it is, to still have Shiro here. Had Ulaz been seconds later in the fight, he could be back to sleeping alone. It’s such a lonely, morbid thought that he pushes it aside. Shiro is here. Shiro is still his.

Unable to stop himself Ulaz leans in to nuzzle Shiro. War is part of their life, battle is an inevitable, but it doesn’t mean Ulaz won’t worry.

Shiro ducks away from the touch and pushes him away, “I said I’m fine. Let’s go to sleep.”

Ulaz sits up as Shiro pulls his blanket around himself—strange that he feels cold enough to need a blanket when Ulaz is right here to keep him warm—and even stranger Shiro rolls onto his side with his back to Ulaz. [That isn’t how they go to sleep.](http://demenior.tumblr.com/post/159406397544/first-round-of-sketch-prompts-i-got-lazy-w)

Maybe Shiro had been hurt, or strained something, and this position makes it easier to sleep. Humans can be irritable when they are in pain. They’re very similar to Galra in that regard.

Ulaz lies down gently, careful not to disturb Shiro, and leans out to rest his chin on Shiro’s hip. He likes having his ear to Shiro’s heart better, but this is okay too.

Shiro flinches away. He must be hurting there.

“I don’t—can you just be—”

“I’ll be right here,” Ulaz says softly, and lies his head down behind Shiro, tilting just enough that he can press his cheek against Shiro’s back. He just needs the touch, this indulgence, to feel that Shiro is here. Ulaz had saved him and kept him safe.

He might have imagined it, or it is just Shiro shifting in his sleep again, but Ulaz thinks he feels Shiro move away from his touch.

 

* * *

 

The fight seems to weigh heavily on all of the Paladins.

Shiro doesn’t sleep well, and after only a few hours gets up and says he wants to check in on his crew. He doesn’t expect to be back. It isn’t unusual for the humans to sleep communally, but it doesn’t normally happen this late in the night cycle.

Ulaz spends the rest of the night trying to sleep. Sleeping without Shiro’s noisy snores and occasional movement just doesn't feel right.

Once the day cycle begins Ulaz spends his morning trying to follow up on the rest of the Paladins. With Ulaz’s assurance that his team is safe and sound, Shiro will have less to fret about.

Unfortunately, all of the humans seem to have monumental tasks to accomplish that they’d failed to mention yesterday. They're too busy to take time for him to check them over. The way humans manage their time always confuses Ulaz. And despite his insistence that he will be quick, they all claim they are fine. None of them will look at him.

Eye contact is standard for humans. Ulaz has gotten used to that social norm. He doesn’t know what this absence means.

He passes his time performing his rounds of the halls. With a Galra attack having caught them off guard on the planet they can’t be sure that the Galra haven’t found the Castle as well. It is more than likely that the two soldiers had just been stationed here, and come across them by accident as neither had been armed with a weapon, but it was always better to be safe than sorry.

Ulaz ignores the disapproving looks he receives from the Alteans in passing. He’s promised Shiro to try and be civil. Even though he’s done nothing wrong to them except exist.

The Paladins are still too busy, performing some communal task that involves all of them together and staring up at him like they are surprised to see him. Humans are social creatures and rarely on their own, but it is strange for them to be spending this length of time together.

Even Shiro is busy. He doesn’t respond well to Ulaz’s contact today—Ulaz tries to perform as much skin-to-skin contact as he can to keep Shiro healthy, as humans require this for normal functioning—and Shiro ducks out from under Ulaz’s hand like he was startled.

Ulaz has been trained to walk lightly, as a Blade of Marmora. He will have to be mindful to click his claws to announce his presence on the ship so he doesn’t scare Shiro anymore.

So Ulaz spends the rest of his time training. He needs to sharpen up his skills. He is a doctor by trade, but all members of the Blade need to be adept in combat, and Ulaz can’t do anything but excel. He needs to learn better control. His age is catching up to him, and he can’t keep fighting like he is a young Galra with energy to spare. That kind of mistake could cost him his life.

Or worse, could cost him Shiro.

He trains harder. He spars with the droids until his arms ache. He runs and leaps until he is certain he knows the limits of his body, and knows he can keep pushing. Ulaz has to make sure he is strong enough to save Shiro because he isn’t sure he can survive losing him.

 

* * *

 

Ulaz doesn’t always join them for dinner, as he doesn’t eat on the same short schedule as the rest of the crew does and it interrupts his day to frequently have to make time for all of their meals, but he likes the atmosphere of having everyone together. Shiro often relaxes as well, and that is rare to see outside of their private time together.

But it has been such an odd day, and after the events of last night, perhaps it would be best for Ulaz to be present. The humans have accepted him as part of their pack, and even though his sloppy form had almost gotten several of them hurt last night, it would be supportive to be there to offer his presence. Shiro, at least, would find that calming. Besides, Ulaz feels like he misses Shiro. It hasn't even been a day but the thought of seeing Shiro makes Ulaz’s heart beat faster. It's something that Ulaz has never felt about anyone before, and the novelty of the feelings make him happy.

Things seem to be changing for the better. Enough time has passed that the humans are chatting again, happily, with one another compared to the meek silence of the night before. Ulaz can hear them down the hall. Good. If his team is happy then Shiro will be happy too.

Everyone goes silent as Ulaz enters the room.

He slows only a fraction, making his way to his seat beside Shiro. This is… odd.

They hadn’t been talking about him—he’d been able to hear their conversation. They’d been making odd earth references, and what were possibly jokes. Ulaz is still having trouble understanding human humor. But why had it all stopped now?

The humans are all avoiding eye contact with him.

Ulaz resists the urge to growl. He doesn’t like this. Has he performed some human social mishap? Shiro should have corrected him, were that the case. They are all acting like they don’t want to see him, that his presence makes them uncomfortable. What could possibly—oh.

Ulaz had used his teeth to kill last night. Like an animal.

They are embarrassed that he’d had to resort to being a savage. At his poor swordsmanship.

Allura trains the Paladins to be incredibly skilled with their weapons, and in combat. While Ulaz has the many years of experience on them now, in time they will each be worthy of ten Marmora warriors or more. Surrounded by such skilled warriors, and Ulaz had resorted to his teeth like a fool.

He really hasn’t shown much shame for it—but there hasn't been time. It was a last resort, and he’d saved Shiro, hadn’t he? He’d saved them all! And now they are looking down on him for that?

“Pass the goo, please,” Hunk says quietly.

Keith moves to comply. They’re all moving slowly, tentatively, and keeping their gazes down. It’s not a lull in conversation. The humans are ashamed to have him here.

Ulaz saved their lives and now they are trying to humiliate him. The arrogance!

“I would appreciate bluntness about my faults rather than avoidance,” Ulaz announces, “I can assure you I am aware of where I failed last night, and have already begun working to correct my mistakes.”

“What?” Lance says as the crew glances at one another.

Ulaz feels humiliated with the silence continuing to stretch around them. They’ve been purposefully avoiding him all day. Shiro was avoiding him in bed, he realizes—Shiro! Shiro doesn’t want to be near him. Is participating in this ostracizing.

“It’s not something you can fix,” Pidge says. Pidge is one of the weaker Paladins in combat. For her to openly speak down on his skills shocks Ulaz to anger. As if humans are so great!

“This ungratefulness is appalling! And your childish behavior is alarming for those who consider themselves defenders of the universe!” he’s growling, ears pressed flat against his head. Ulaz hasn’t been this angry in years.

“Ulaz stop,” Shiro orders.

Ulaz rounds on him, a snarl on his lips, “I am not the one being unreasonable!”

His fist hits the table, more for emphasis than for show. They all know that he won’t hurt them; that Ulaz doesn’t lash out violently.

Everyone in the room flinches away. Even Shiro.

Ulaz’s rage vanishes in the face of confusion. He looks around. They’re all staring at him with wide eyes. Just like last night, when he’d thought they were nervous and happy to have him nearby.

They’ve been flocking together, and staying away from him. That’s not shame, Ulaz realizes. It’s fear.

“Are you…” he can’t believe he’s saying this, but he has to know, “are you afraid of me?”

They’re glancing at one another. They’re scared for who has to answer him—as if Ulaz might hurt them. When has he ever threatened them?

He turns to Shiro. Shiro knows him—Shiro _trusts_ him. But even as he turns Ulaz remembers. Shiro flinched too.

“You killed them,” Shiro says slowly.

Ulaz feels numb with shock, “We… we’ve killed many. Why is this— what’s different? What don’t I understand?”

It has to be a human misunderstanding. He can’t figure out why last night was so different. Was yesterday some human holiday? Lance had called it ‘The Weekend’. Maybe it was sacrilege to kill on The Weekend.

“You ripped them apart,” Keith says, jutting his chin out like he’s challenging Ulaz, “that’s… that’s what’s different.”

Ulaz still isn’t following. They’re afraid because he didn’t kill with his blade? What else was he supposed to do? Just let the Galra rip Shiro to shreds?

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Ulaz’s blood boils again.

“You’re afraid because I killed like a Galra,” he realizes, “you’re afraid because I _acted_ like a Galra. Have you been thinking of me as lesser than I am?”

“No! It was just—it was scary!” Lance pipes up, “cause normally it’s just the bad guys who wanna eat us and—”

“I have _always_ been a Galra!” Ulaz snarls, cutting Lance off, “how dare you forget that! What did you think of me, then? A pet? A tame creature, fangless and obedient?”

He’s talking to them all, but he turns to Shiro. Shiro, who championed for Ulaz when no one else would trust him. Shiro, who rejected him last night. Shiro, who makes Ulaz happier than he has any right to be, after years of solitude. Shiro, who is afraid of him.

Has Shiro seen him as a domestic creature? Something not-Galra?

“That’s not it!” Hunk says, “it just—it shocked us, okay? We’ve had monsters trying to eat us for a long time now. Seeing you like that—it was just, just—”

“Scary,” Pidge added.

“No,” Ulaz is shaking. He trained himself to exhaustion and yet he’s ready to fight again, “no. What was scary for you is that you realized I could turn my teeth on you. And you think I could. You think I _would_. You think I’m a monster! That’s why you’re afraid of me.”

He spits the last part at Shiro, who still won’t speak.

Ulaz doesn’t have time for this squabbling. He doesn’t have time for these useless opinions and ignorant ideas. This is why he preferred to work alone before. The less people involved, the easier everything went.

He leaves the room before he shares more choice words.

They all probably think he left so he wouldn’t eat them.

 

* * *

 

He wants to go back to the training room, but working off his anger with exercise will only make the humans think they’re right in considering him a violent animal. Ulaz thinks about retreating to his den—to his and Shiro’s room, the one place that is theirs and theirs alone—but that makes him feel infuriated for other reasons. And sick.

He paces the halls instead.

Has Shiro been afraid of him the whole time? Ulaz is the one who instigated their relationship, though he’d thought Shiro had been responding to his poor courting skills. Maybe it had been fear driving Shiro on, making Shiro feel trapped and unable to say no.

Ulaz has to hope that’s not the case. But the alternative is that Shiro has been thinking of him as something other than Galra, as something tame, in order to be with him.

And now Shiro is afraid of him.

They all think he’s a monster.

Ulaz can't stay here. The Alteans are still wary of him, but if the humans dislike him as well? He will return to the Marmora. He will go to where he is wanted, where he won't be shunned for being himself.

Ulaz has too much pride to be rejected for being himself. Let the humans live in their gilded cage with tame animals to do their bidding.

 

* * *

 

It's late before he grows weary, and returns to his den. He's still angry, he has every right to be angry, but he needs to speak with Shiro. Of all the humans he needs to know where he stands with Shiro.

Shiro isn't in bed. Their room doesn't appear to have been touched since last night.

It makes Ulaz growl. How unlike Shiro to show cowardice like this.

Ulaz makes quick work of packing his things. He sets his blade to rest on top, ready for when he will don his armor for travel.

He prowls through the communal part of the castle, listening for Shiro's voice. He doesn't hear it.

Instead he finds Pidge in the hangar, at her workstation. Ulaz, making late rounds with Shiro, has helped carry her to her quarters more than once. The hangar is dark, save for the bright lights on her bench. It blinds her to the shadows, and with his soft footsteps Ulaz gets a perverse thrill at startling her.

“Where’s Shiro?” Ulaz asks.

“Holy-!” Pidge shouts, and drops the circuit she was holding. She gasps, clutching her chest in alarm.

“Where's Shiro?” Ulaz repeats again, “I need to speak with him.”

“He went after you a while ago” Pidge says, “did he miss you? Um, he might have gone to bed but he left a few hours ago. That's the last I saw of him.”

“He's not there,” Ulaz says, “don't hide him. We need to talk.”

“I'm not hiding him!” Pidge replies angrily, “he said he was looking for you. Where else would he be?”

Ulaz huffs angrily and stalks out of the hangar. It was pointless to talk to the Paladins when they were afraid of him. As much as he had been welcomed, he was still an outsider and they would rally to protect each other against him.

 

* * *

 

Shiro isn't in the den. It's untouched as it was when Ulaz checked it earlier. Either Shiro is hiding from him, or Pidge is correct that Shiro had gone looking for him.

It's unlike Shiro to be so avoidant. But then again Ulaz never thought Shiro would think he was capable of hurting him.

In any case maybe some distance will be good to settle Ulaz’s mind. He's so furious he would still rather yell.

He's going to get into bed, when he notices his things have been disturbed. Ulaz has never been a sedentary creature. He travels light and as a member of the Blade of Marmora he does not own anything sentimental or useless.

He keeps his possessions orderly and in working function, and so it is glaringly obvious when his knife is not where it is meant to be.

There's no scent of an intruder. The den is uncompromised, which means there's only one person who might have taken it.

He doesn't understand why Shiro stole from him. It makes him upset. The blade is his life. Shiro knows this. Is this an act to antagonize him?

In any case, Ulaz will have to ask Shiro when he finds him. Shiro would not do something so drastic like this and then hide. Ulaz hopes he knows Shiro's character that well.

 

* * *

 

The Castle is large, and while it is not inherently dangerous, it's strange that Shiro has been gone so long. The sensible thing, were Shiro unable to locate Ulaz, would be to return to their room and wait for him there. Then again, Shiro hasn't been very sensible lately.

That gives Ulaz pause.

He remembers Shiro parroting his words last night, after the fight, and how Shiro has been avoiding physical contact and eye contact. He's been involved with work but when Ulaz thinks about it, he's not sure what on his datapad could have occupied Shiro for hours. Unless Shiro's just going through motions.

Humans have strong reactions to blood, Shiro moreso. It's hard to tell what will trigger an episode in him. And he'd been covered in it last night.

Ulaz breaks into a run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we really get into the misunderstanding of the story. Ulaz has been making some pretty angry accusations, and assuming the thoughts of everyone around him-- but was everyone acting with clear minds?
> 
> In Shiro's case... probably not.
> 
> See you tomorrow for part 2!


	2. Danger/Shelter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: mentions of minor self-harm, some moments of mid-dissociation self-harm, violence and the fluffiest, most cavity-inducing cuddles. Also if you've seen the movie Holes there's a reference here that's going to murder your heart in the worst way :)
> 
> Here we're going to see Shiro and Ulaz alternate and switch between being the shelter for one another, and being the danger.

Ulaz catches Shiro's scent two halls later. His claws scratch along the polished Altean floor, and he's dropped to all fours to keep his nose to the ground. He's slapping his tail into the walls as he rounds corners, sliding with the force of his momentum.

“Shiro? Shiro can you hear me?” Ulaz shouts. He wants Shiro to answer— but if Shiro's having an episode he might not be able to respond.

Shiro also has Ulaz’s blade. That worries Ulaz. Shiro has been prone to self-harm when he's dissociating, and luxite is very sharp.

Ulaz keeps his nose to the floor, following the traces of Shiro he can smell. He knows Shiro's scent. It's one he committed to memory ages ago.

The scent is stronger down another hall. Shiro's here, or has been recently. Ulaz is about to start checking every room, and he notices blood on the floor.

It's human.

“Shiro?” Ulaz calls, “Shiro, I'm here!”

It's faint, a human would miss it, but he hears a whimper. Ulaz bounds to the door. There's a smear of blood on it. His heart races. It's locked. From the inside, no doubt.

“Shiro can you hear me? I need you to open the door,” Ulaz says. Shiro has often tried to avoid him, and everyone else, when he's dissociating. He feels guilty for it. Ulaz has always taken care to prove that he doesn't think less of Shiro for suffering like this.

“Shiro I'm worried about you. Can you open the door for me?” Ulaz tries again.

He's straining to hear Shiro. There's no movement on the other side of the door.

Ulaz doesn't like this at all.

“I'm here, Shiro. I want to be with you,” Ulaz says, and tries to think of what would convince Shiro to open the door, “I'm not mad. I just want to help you.”

Finally, finally, he hears Shiro's cracking voice, “I can't let them in. They'll find me.”

“Who's looking for you?” Ulaz asks. Shiro's talking to him. That's a good sign.

“They'll find me. I'll do bad things again. I don't want to kill anymore!”

Shiro sounds like he's getting worked up. On the other side of a locked door. That isn't good.

“Calm down,” Ulaz urges, “I'm here. Nothing will happen to you-”

And then he hears it. The unmistakeable sound of Shiro whimpering— he's in pain. He's biting his lips trying to silence himself— and the whimpers turn to cries.

He's hurting himself.

“Shiro I'm coming in, get away from the door,” Ulaz orders.

“No! No!” Shiro shouts, “they're coming, they're going to—”

Shiro doesn't finish because Ulaz has started ramming the door. Now Shiro's screaming. It's wordless, terrified screaming and it makes Ulaz more desperate to get to him. How had no one noticed how badly Shiro was drifting?

They'd all been too focused on their fear of Ulaz to see Shiro drowning.

The door is sturdy, but Ulaz is determined. As soon as Ulaz makes a dent in it he starts to peel away the sides. The door begins to fold under his assault. Shiro's screams now fill is the hallway. He's crying. He's terrified.

Ulaz is the monster coming to rescue him.

Eventually Ulaz can get his jaws on the door, and he makes quick work of it. He doesn't even bother taking it all down, just rips enough out that he can push and pull and squeeze himself into the room. It scratches at his fur and tears his jumpsuit. All irrelevant in his need to get to Shiro.

It may have once been a bedroom, similar to the one Shiro and Ulaz share. Maybe that's why Shiro tried to seek solace here?

Shiro's crouched at the far end of the room, dressed in his loose sleeping clothes. He panics at the sight of Ulaz.

Shiro's delusional and possibly remembering his year of captivity. It hurts Ulaz that Shiro sees him as a stand-in for any Galra. He has to remember that Shiro is not in his right mind. This isn't him.

Ulaz rushes to Shiro's side. He's in the corner, huddled with his knees to his chest and trying to make himself as small as possible. There are self-inflicted scratches on his face, and he's been antagonizing the skin around his prosthetic again. There are cuts on his bare arms. He’s bleeding.

He does have Ulaz’s blade. Ulaz barely has time to react before Shiro quickly changes his grip on the knife and swipes at Ulaz. He can’t activate it, but even the shortened version of the knife is incredibly sharp. Ulaz crashes into the wall, narrowly avoiding Shiro’s attack.

“Shiro!” Ulaz shouts, “it’s me!”

Shiro may not be in his right mind, but only a fool would think him not dangerous. He has his teeth bared in a very Galra expression. Ulaz isn’t sure if Shiro knows that he does that quite often when fighting.

“Shiro,” Ulaz says again, “stop this!”

Shiro lunges again.

The room is too small for someone of Ulaz’s size, it works against him. He can barely move out of the way before Shiro gets too close to strike him. And with his elegant prosthetic, and skills with weaponry, Ulaz is all but defenceless unless he wishes to harm Shiro.

Shiro’s clearly not present. He’s snarling, spitting out sounds that might be words but it’s nothing that Ulaz recognizes. He’s small and fast, a deadly opponent in these small spaces. He ducks under Ulaz’s arm, and stabs Ulaz in the side. Ulaz snarls and kicks, sending Shiro across the room and clearing some space between them.

“I’m not here to hurt you,” Ulaz pleads, “please Shiro, remember me. You don’t have to fight.”

His side hurts, but with the knife as short as it is, the wound is mostly superficial. He needs to get it away from Shiro, and then he can try to pin him and talk sense into him.

Ulaz leaps across the room, startling Shiro with his head-on attack. He feints to the side, thankful for the training he’s been doing lately that keeps him light on his toes, and Shiro falters in his attack. Ulaz manages to grab Shiro’s flesh wrist, trying to get the knife from his hand. Shiro punches him with his prosthetic, right in the snout and so hard it makes Ulaz see stars.

Ulaz barely has time to deflect another strike, before he hears the _whir_ of the quintessence in Shiro’s prosthetic activating. The arm lights up, glowing with heat.

Ulaz needs to get distance between them again or Shiro will do very serious damage to him. But the longer this fight continues, the better Shiro becomes. Ulaz has seen many of Shiro’s fights in the arena. Humans are endurance creatures, Galra are not.

Ulaz grips Shiro’s prosthetic by the elbow, wrestling with him and trying to pin Shiro. His hand begins to burn. Shiro spits at him, seeing some enemy from his past or a nightmare come to life instead of someone who cares for him.

Shiro’s strong enough to break Ulaz’s grips if he gets the right leverage, and Ulaz is unwilling to hurt him. But at this rate, Shiro is a danger to everyone on board and Ulaz has to be practical. If he can get enough force, he should be able to knock Shiro into the wall. Force-induced unconsciousness is risky, but if Ulaz can rush him to a cryopod he hopes he can avoid long-lasting trauma. Should Shiro forgive him.

That’s when Shiro leaps, using Ulaz’s grip on him as leverage, to twist and drive his knee into the knife wound he’d made earlier. Ulaz flinches with a snarl, his grips slip for just a moment, and then Shiro is free.

There’s a white-hot hand at his jaw, gripping him tightly and his fur is already beginning to burn. Ulaz falls back in surprise, tripping on his own paws like a fool. Shiro has the upper hand, a cruel sneer on his face.

“Shiro,” Ulaz says softly, “you’re scaring me.”

Shiro pauses for a moment, knife held at the ready to stab into Ulaz’s eye, prosthetic still burning into Ulaz’s lower jaw. They’re both still, unsure of what’s about to happen next.

Horror and recognition flood Shiro’s face and he lets out a moan that’s more like a wail. It’s alarmingly inhuman, nothing that Ulaz has heard a human make before. Shiro drops the knife and he scrambles off of Ulaz, stumbling like he’s lost his balance. He hits the wall and sinks down, curling in on himself. His prosthetic deactivates, and he wraps his arms around himself, gripping tightly. Ulaz can smell fabric burning. Shiro’s arm can’t have cooled down enough— he’s going to hurt himself again.

There is much that needs to be done in the face of this episode. Shiro has been violent before, but never as badly as this. Precautions may need to be set, to ensure that Shiro cannot harm the rest of his team when he is like this. Ulaz is still mad, and afraid, that Shiro is terrified of him. Those are not the things he needs to focus on right now.

His own medical aid can wait— nothing Shiro has done will kill him. He can afford to care for Shiro first.

Ulaz rolls to his feet, and kicks his knife to the other end of the room before he approaches slowly on all fours. He makes sure to click his claws so Shiro knows exactly where he is.

“Shiro, it's me,” Ulaz says softly. Shiro is white with terror. He looks like he's been stretched thin.

He flinches away when Ulaz reaches out to cup his cheek in his large paw. Shiro goes rigid, like he's expecting to be struck.

This isn't him, Ulaz reminds himself. When Shiro knows him he is not afraid. He hopes.

Shiro leans into the touch, and his metal hand comes up to grip Ulaz’s hand firmly. It’s warm, but it’s no longer scalding. His eyes open in shock, like he's confirmed that Ulaz is real.

“Ulaz?” Shiro’s voice is hoarse, “help me.”

Ulaz crouches in front of him, bent down so Shiro will feel surrounded, and safe by him. Large spaces make humans uncomfortable, but so does a small cage. The trick is to make them feel snug without restricting them. Ulaz leans down to nuzzle Shiro, using his hand against Shiro’s face to angle the kiss properly.

“I’m here,” Ulaz says calmly, “I will protect you. There is nothing to fear.”

“They’re going to find me,” Shiro whimpers, “and they’re going to make me kill again.”

“No,” Ulaz assures him, and continues nuzzling Shiro if only to use his scent to calm him down— Shiro has often found comfort in holding his face against Ulaz’s fur, “no one is here to hurt you.”

“There’s blood,” Shiro argues. His voice is childish, and whiny in tone. He wants to be proven right.

It’s why Ulaz is here, after all. To make sure that someone tells Shiro he’s wrong when he needs to hear it.

Ulaz pulls back enough to see Shiro curling and uncurling his fingers in his lap. There’s blood on his fingers, but it’s all from his own self-inflicted injuries. Ulaz moves slowly, taking great care to be soft.

“I can fix that,” he says.

Shiro doesn’t resist him, even when Ulaz lifts his small human hands to his mouth, and licks the blood off of him. Shiro’s eyes are wide at the flash of Ulaz’s teeth, but he doesn’t pull away.

For good measure Ulaz licks at the scratches on Shiro’s face, at the places on his right arm where he picked at the scar tissue. Anywhere Shiro was hurting himself. He wants Shiro to feel like it’s all been cared for, that it’s no longer an issue.

He sits with Shiro, calmly petting and nuzzling him, until Shiro starts to go into shock. He shakes like he’s freezing, and talks mostly incoherent thoughts that he never finishes. Ulaz fetches bedding from the bed, and makes a makeshift nest for the two of them. He lays around Shiro, keeping Shiro pressed against the wall to help calm his anxious human mind. Whenever Shiro brings up a fear or a worry, Ulaz calmly denies him.

“I saw people I’ve killed,” Shiro admits, at one point, “they want to kill me too.”

“They’re long dead,” Ulaz assures him, “and they cannot harm you.”

“I tried to kill you,” Shiro argues, “I’m going to hurt everyone I love.”

“You hurt me,” Ulaz agrees, “and yet I am still here. The Paladins are safe.”

Shiro sags in defeat, and Ulaz assumes he’s lost the energy for this fight. He leans in to give Shiro another kiss, and stays with him.

 

* * *

 

Ulaz doesn't know what to make of the fact that he's included in the list of people that Shiro loves. He has come to realize that Shiro is the one he wants to be mated to for the rest of his life, but he's never put those feelings into words for fear of scaring Shiro away. Shiro has always gotten skittish at the mention of emotions or deep commitment. Ulaz hasn't wanted to push him.

To think, that's how he thought he might scare Shiro. Ha. 

Ulaz breathes slowly, inhaling and exhaling hard. Shiro, with his arms around Ulaz's neck and his face pressed into Ulaz's fur, shakes as he struggles to breathe along with him. Ulaz's wounds pain him, but he will not move until Shiro has come back to himself.

Ulaz rumbles on his next breath, a mix between a growl and a laugh. The same sound he makes to scare away Shiro's nightmares when he sleeps. Pressed against him like this, he can feel Shiro start to relax as instinct takes over. This is a safe space, with Ulaz protecting him.

They don't speak for a long time.

 

* * *

 

It’s very late in the sleep cycle, nearly time to wake up, when Shiro asks to go home. They walk quietly through the halls together. Shiro stays tight to Ulaz’s side, keeping a hand on him. Ulaz has half a mind to carry him, but it won’t do any good to baby Shiro.

They get back to their room and crawl into their bed without any discussion.

“I’m sorry I hurt you— that you had to deal with me, like this,” Shiro says weakly.

Shiro is laying against Ulaz, with his head against Ulaz’s neck and their bodies curled together. Ulaz even pulled up soft blankets to tuck Shiro in snugly.

“Was it me?” Ulaz asks nervously.

Shiro doesn’t reply right away, and Ulaz’s heart hammers in his throat.

“You killed them,” Shiro says, his words from yesterday, “you killed them and I was right there.”

“To save you,” Ulaz reminds him, “they were going to kill you. I had no other choice.”

“There was blood,” Shiro whimpers, “I was drowning. I’ve felt that—all that blood. It’s happened before. It made me want to kill more. It’s all over me.”

“It’s not,” Ulaz insists, “you’re not drowning. You don’t have to kill. You’re home, you’re safe. We’re in our bed. Do you know where you are?”

It takes a moment, but Shiro finally nods weakly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner,” Ulaz says, “I was preoccupied with… other thoughts,” he says delicately. He glances at his packed bags.

Shiro hiccups, and leans his head on Ulaz’s neck, “I… I’m sorry. I was scared.”

This is a complicated conversation.

“My teeth are part of me,” Ulaz explains, “killing is part of me. I can’t apologize for that.”

He feels the rub of Shiro’s cheek as Shiro nods, “I know. I know it was you. But there—when I woke up, and you were fighting over me, for a second I _was_ scared. I’m sorry.”

Ulaz has been accused before of being protective, overly so, when it comes to Shiro. He’s not sure there’s anything in the universe that’s worth being _more_ protective of. Shiro pulls his blanket tight around his shoulders, and nuzzles into Ulaz’s warmth. Ulaz gives Shiro a soft kiss to his temple, and lays his head down.

Shiro’s hand sneaks out of the blankets to stroke Ulaz’s muzzle. Ulaz looks up at him as Shiro smiles tiredly.

“Don’t leave,” Shiro begs.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” Ulaz promises.

Someone has to protect Shiro. To give him space to be afraid and space to feel safe.

For the moment, Ulaz finds it hard to remember why he wants to leave.

 

* * *

 

The Paladins come looking for their leader. Brave of them, considering their overwhelming fear of Ulaz. Perhaps they think he's killed Shiro.

He heads them off at the door, barring their entry. By now they should understand that Ulaz doesn't like trespassers in his den, and yet humans always insist on invading his space.

“Is Shiro okay?” Pidge asks, “he didn't show up for breakfast.”

“Or combat drills,” Lance adds. Shiro is normally very punctual. It's good that they've picked up on his absence.

“He’s resting,” Ulaz says carefully, trying to give Shiro his privacy, “we both are.”

Keith narrows his eyes, “Why is he resting? What were you doing up so late?”

Lance’s face goes red. It's a very strange reaction.

“He's not hurt, if that's what you're implying,” Ulaz snaps.

“That's not—” Hunk starts, but Ulaz has had enough and closes the door in their faces. He was as civil as he could manage to people whom he'd thought had seen him as an equal.

Shiro stirs briefly when Ulaz returns to bed, but is more concerned that Ulaz might still be leaving, rather than to ask where he was.

 

* * *

 

Shiro sleeps much longer than Ulaz expected. He wonders if Shiro got any sleep the previous night— the night of the battle, when he slipped away with an excuse.

But finally he wakes up.

He looks tired, still. Pale and haggard, but his eyes are clear again.

“Hey,” Shiro croaks.

“How do you feel?” Ulaz asks. They’ve changed positions, so now they’re back to their normal sleeping habits. Ulaz lifts his head so Shiro can sit up. Shiro pulls some pillows behind himself to lean back on, and Ulaz sets his head back on Shiro's stomach.

“I'm here,” Shiro says. He scratches below Ulaz’s ear and Ulaz rumbles a happy sound. He notes that Shiro doesn't say he's feeling better. That's to be expected. It usually takes him some time to recover from dissociative episodes as bad as the one he had.

It feels nice to have Shiro's hands on him again, after too long without. Shiro seems to agree, and they spend some time in silence, with Shiro petting him and Ulaz nuzzles closer so he can fill his nose with Shiro's scent.

“So,” Shiro finally breaks the silence, “we need to talk.”

“Yes,” Ulaz agrees.

Ulaz sits up so that he and Shiro are eye-to-eye.

“Do I make you uncomfortable?” Ulaz asks, “are you… how long have you been afraid of me.”

“You don’t,” Shiro insists quickly, “and I’m not.”

Ulaz snaps his jaws closed mere inches from Shiro’s face. It’s a play move. Cubs do this all the time, showing off and posturing for who’s the strongest. It means nothing. Shiro nearly knocks his head against the wall as he jerks back.He’s pale with fright.

“See? You are afraid,” Ulaz growls.

“That’s not fair!” Shiro snaps, “and you know it!”

“What did you think my teeth were for, if not for killing?” Ulaz says, “or did you forget they were there at all? Have I been your dog this whole time? Is that how you see me?”

“Of course not!” Shiro protests, “It was different seeing it up close! We’ve never seen you fight like that— can you blame us for being a little scared?”

“Yes! I can!” Ulaz groans, “have I ever bitten you? Any of your crew? My teeth are not new, and there has been no concern! Now, I save your life and I’m being called a monster!”

“It’s not like that,” Shiro says, “you’re projecting.”

“You’ve killed with your arm,” Ulaz points out, “and I never once feared you would turn it on me. I have never flinched from your anger. Your crew adores you, without fear, despite the pain you have inflicted,” Shiro’s face twists in a grimace as Ulaz continues, “your arm is unnatural as is your violence. And as undesirable as it is, my fangs are my birthright. I will not stand to be judged for being what I am.”

“You were scared of me last night,” Shiro says slowly, “you said so yourself.”

Ulaz pauses to think. It’s true. In that moment, he had been sure Shiro was about to kill him.

“You said killing is unnatural to me?,” Shiro continues, voice low and humble, “I think you're wrong. I… I think it’s a part of me too.”

This kind of admission seems to pain Shiro.

“We are well matched, then,” Ulaz says. Shiro smiles ruefully.

“You packed your bags,” Shiro points out.

“I was going to leave,” Ulaz says, “I still might. I can’t live where I’m seen as a monster.”

Shiro’s finger trace around the burn on Ulaz’s jaw. His skin has blistered and it aches, but he hasn’t had time to leave Shiro’s side yet. Ulaz wonders if Shiro’s worried about how others see him too.

“What would that mean for us?” Shiro asks, rather than argue for Ulaz to stay.

Ulaz considers the question carefully.

If Ulaz isn’t going to be living with the Voltron crew, there’s almost no reason for him to ever return to the Castle. It’s unlikely that he will see Shiro again, unless their missions happen to overlap.

A sickening notion.

“It would make sense for this to end,” Ulaz says.

Shiro looks hurt, as if he’s been wounded, “Do you… is that what you want?”

Ulaz should say yes, to sever the ties neatly between them. He’s seen far too many comrades engaged in messy, complicated relationships and never understood why they twisted themselves in so many ways for things that could not make them happy.

Shiro looks decidedly small, and, well, very human.

“No,” Ulaz admits, “you are the one thing I don’t want to lose.”

“So don’t go,” Shiro says, “I don’t… I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay. With me.”

Ulaz wants to. It would be so easy to stay. “What you ask is—”

“I know. We hurt you. And I’m sorry— but can I, will you let me try and explain? Humans… we… we can’t kill like that. We’re practically prey animals on earth. And so that level of violence, it’s… it’s shocking. If not traumatic. We’re adjusting. Some better than others. I’ll talk to the others, okay? But I’m sure they don’t think you’re a monster.”

The violence had been upsetting? Ulaz had made both kills quickly and almost perfectly. Humans were so… odd.

“But you’re still afraid of me,” Ulaz says, “you don’t trust me.”

“Yeah,” Shiro admits, “you’re right. I think I’ve always been a little scared of you. But I’ve also trusted you. I meant that. Every time I’ve said it.”

“You have nothing to fear from me,” Ulaz says.

“I know,” Shiro says, “it’s why I’m still here.”

That is a truth, Ulaz realizes. Even if Shiro had been terrified of him, he had still come back to their den. He still tried to sleep in their bed, together. It was hard to tell what part of his response was his dissociation and which was his fear, but Shiro had come home to him.

Ulaz glances at his meager belongings, and then back to Shiro.

He cups Shiro’s face between his hands, relishing the feel of Shiro’s soft skin against the coarseness of his palms. Shiro closes his eyes and leans into the touch. Ulaz leans down to gently press their foreheads together, careful not to knock Shiro roughly. He feels Shiro’s hand come up to cover his.

“If you are willing to be with me, then I want to stay,” Ulaz confesses.

“I am,” Shiro says, “I want this to work.”

“It makes me unhappy that you’re afraid. How can that be changed?” Ulaz asks.

“I don’t… afraid isn’t the right word. It’s just— it’s like instinct. I meant it when I said humans aren’t top predators. We see things with big teeth and it just sets off alarm bells,” Shiro laughs, making it a joke.

“Your instincts tell you to run… and yet you share a bed with me,” Ulaz observes.

“And more,” Shiro points out, “see? It’s not really being _afraid_ of you. Besides, I kind of like the thrill.”

“Reckless,” Ulaz admonishes him.

“Smart,” Shiro corrects, “because what’s left to be scared of when I’m with the scariest guy around.”

Ulaz snorts. Many would disagree that Ulaz is the most frightening one in their relationship. He doesn’t bring that up.

When he leans back to look at Shiro it strikes him just how different humans are. Everything about them is different from Galra. From their shape to their eyes to their thoughts. By all accounts Shiro should not choose him, and yet Ulaz is who he comes home to. Ulaz would be a fool to ever walk away, until Shiro no longer wants him.

“Shiro, I…,” he’s not sure where to begin, but he can feel the words crawling out of his throat. Shiro inspires devotion in him, and possessiveness, the likes of which Ulaz has never known to another person.

This confession is long overdue.

“Other creatures would love you, I know. They would be softer, gentler. They would not make you afraid,” Ulaz draws his lips back to show his teeth, and makes his threat clear, “but first they'll have to go through me.”

 

* * *

 

It isn’t until that night, after Shiro attends to the duties he had to neglect for the morning spent in bed, and assures his team that he is alright, that Ulaz and Shiro get to talk again.

Ulaz spends the morning in the medbay. The burn is easily treated with Altean salve and his stab wound sealed like it never happened.

From there he returns to training again. He’s going to stay. Shiro promises to speak with the Paladins. Even still, Ulaz apologizes for scaring them at dinner. He’d assumed humans were only queasy to gore, not scared of it. It’s still a strange concept to him, but he’s trying to be understanding of their culture.

Ulaz speaks with the Alteans about Shiro’s psychotic episode. Coran agrees to run some scans, to see if they can’t predict the next one. They discuss keeping sedatives on hand should the next one be as violent, and also how to prevent Shiro from trying to endure his trauma by himself. He has a team, and friends who care for him. He does not have to suffer alone.

Ulaz receives a warm welcome and apologies from the Paladins as well. It’s hard to remember why they had such a poor misunderstanding before.

It doesn’t mean the young humans aren’t afraid of him. But Ulaz has a better understanding now of why his teeth make them skittish. It’s a survival instinct. Not a personal insult.

 

* * *

 

Shiro rubs his nose against Ulaz’s— a Galra kiss— as they get comfortable in bed. Ulaz is nearly laying on top of Shiro, relieved to be allowed to touch him again. His head is resting on Shiro's chest so Shiro has to crane his neck to kiss him.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Shiro confesses.

Ulaz sits up to regard him. He’s been thinking about their conversation as well. It’s been one thing to know how he personally feels, but another to confess it.

Shiro traces his fingers along the curve of Ulaz’s jaw, feeling the smoothness where the burn has been treated and is nearly healed already. Ulaz could melt into the touch. He could live a thousand lifetimes and nothing he could ever see would compare to the experience of Shiro in their shared bed: relaxed, happy and smiling up at him with his round human eyes and delicate features.

Shiro pulls Ulaz's snout down to place a soft human kiss to the tip of Ulaz’s nose, and smiles warmly at him, “I… I need you to know that I— I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

  _Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly_  
_Hopelessly I'll give you everything_  
_But I won't give you up_  
_I won't let you down_  
_And I won't leave you falling_  
_If the moment ever comes_

                                                                   -Muse, "Endlessly"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't claim originality for Ulaz's love confession quote- I saw it on tumblr eons ago and I KNEW it needed to be in a redesign!Galra story at some point. 
> 
> Look at these saps. There's a lot of problems when you're two different species from two completely different sides of the universe, but hey! Love knows no bounds! 
> 
> [hilariously useless fact: from here on in, anytime Ulaz uses his teeth to kill something Shiro gets a little bit turned on bc it makes him think of Ulaz's love confession. Ulaz thinks it's absolutely endearing. Everyone else (rightfully) finds it really weird if not disturbing]
> 
> Thank y'all so much for reading! And thank you for going on this emotional roller coaster with me!


End file.
